The title I will admit I borrowed from a tiny, but powerful book my sister gave me this past Christmas. Be With by Mike Barnes talks about a son’s journey as his mother’s caregiver who just happens to face the challenges of Alzheimer’s.

Last year our mother had a medical scare and was hospitalized for 3 months. At one point, she went into heart failure. She rebounded, thankfully. Since then, her recovery and care have been a priority for her family, particularly her six adult children. It hasn’t been easy, balancing work, families as well as the daily challenges life can throw at a person. Care giving can feel, as Barnes eludes to, like “another thing to do.”

What the book taught me was the importance of just “being with” others – being present, connected, free of distracting thoughts, distracting things. We can get caught up in the tasks that need to get done, be done and easily forget the actual person we are with.

I think this applies to life in general. It is so easy to get caught up in meeting the many demands of daily life and the many societal distractions that we miss, or perhaps dismiss, the many opportunities for deep, personal connections with others.

In education, it is well known that relationships are key for all stakeholders: students, parents, staff, colleagues. The strongest relationships are a result of deep connection and feelings of attachment.

As an educational leader, it is my job to foster these relationships first and foremost. I truly believe the learning at all levels in education, with all stakeholders does not occur without meaningful relationships.

There is a line in the book, “I learned to be with the hard way, from the hardest teacher, not being with.”

I am striving to really be with my mom when we are together -be present, hear her voice, appreciate what she brings to our relationship, value the precious time we have together. Our family is so fortunate she rebounded from her health scare. She’s 82. Every minute of every day is precious.

At work and in life I now strive to do the same. I want students, staff and parents to know I care, that I am invested in them as people. I am focusing on being present with each person I come in contact with. I extend this to my personal relationships outside of work as well. I even extend this to myself. I need to also be with myself.

I saw a quote on a church sign the other day while driving home. It said, “We are our best when we serve others.” I want to serve others. I want to serve them meaningfully. I want to also serve myself. I can do this by being with.